Since the Tribunal Supremo (TSJ) announced its decision last week there has been plenty of reaction. On Saturday, El Páis published “Lo que la hipoteca unió, que no lo separe un juez” exploring some of the possible consequences of the ruling (one of which might be a blizzard of petitions from ex-husbands requesting a modification of their divorce agreements).
The big question is, how fair is the TSJ ruling? Will obliging the economically weaker party (more often the ex-wife) to pay 50% ruin her financially? Will continuing to oblige the non-custodial parent (usually the father) to pay more ruin him?
One solution might be a pensión compensatoria for the weaker party while he or she takes steps to firmer financial footing.
Why was I left penniless? Why could a court make an important decision about custody yet not bother to divide my assets? Here is what happened to me.
I am a mother of 5 children born in the uk I was married to a Spanish military man and I suffered an abusive relationship. During my 12 years of marriage, 7 were spent in total in the uk. 4 of my 5 children were born in the uk. When I eventually decided to ask for a divorce I was living with my children in the uk. I made the mistake of returning for a trial under the promise by my ex that he gave us permission to return to the uk. Unfortunately it was a trap. When I left and returned to the uk. My ex went to the Hague and accused me of child abduction. High Court and Court of Appeal ensued in which I found out since that papers and dates were changed and as a result I lost the case and my children were deemed to be resident in Spain. I was given custody and the judge was satisfied with my ex’s undertakings to the court (promises) However once I set foot on Spanish soil my ex disregarded these and I went through 10 months of hell. Our life was made as difficult as possible. We were interviewed by court psychologists who wrote a very biased, odd and dubious report and the judge gave custody to my ex who had 2 weeks previously been given a new posting to another part of Spain on an island. This meant my 5 young children were to live with their father and with no family or friends around. I had been the main carer all their life. It was a wrench for my children and I . My ex had played both countries in the justicial system given each country a different story. He told the High court in London that I was a very good mother and wherever the children went the mother would follow and there was nothing wrong with his marriage, but in Spain meanwhile he had filed for a separation and custody claiming that his wife had run off abandoned the home and was in need of help and if I agreed to treatment I would find in him support. Incredible.
The court did not receive all the valid papers from London or the whole translations with the opinion of the judge which was damning of my ex.I was not allowed to cross examine or question the psychologists. My eldest child was not allowed to speak either.
In the end I lost custody of my children, I had no provisions to live (no money) my assets were not divided. I returned to the Uk penniless, but kept fighting. Now 2 years later I have my old job back again and I have completed new studies ( I am a teacher and I have clean crb checks and I work with children also and the police) The irony is that my ex has blocked contact, continues to abuse and brainwash my children and feeds them with lies. He has tried to frame me in court and get me into trouble with spurious claims. Taking advantage all the while that i could not afford a lawyer. NOw I have a lawyer and I am trying to get justice and give Spain an opportunity to rectify their judicial mistakes.I am going to court in July after a long awaited date (including a cancelled date in Jan)
Currently I am struggling greatly to pay my lawyer, flights, psychologist reports etc etc. If anyone knows where I can get help financially to pay my lawyer and travel expenses or just emotional support and advice then please do.